Recap of Break and Outlook for this Quarter, etc.

So, over Thanksgiving break I went back to Cleveland. I don't say home, because it really isn't home, it's where my parents live and where I visit a couple times a year. Anyways, I was slightly ill the whole time and honestly did not want to do anything other than watch movies and sleep, and the obligatory Friday shopping. Needless to say, I chickened out and did not tell my dad what I want to do next year. I told a couple people at the church where I grew up, but avoided the topic with my dad. I had opportunities, I just chickened out. I feel horrible. Part of me wants to apply and make sure I get accepted before I tell him, no need to tell him if it won't happen, right? Well, I'm a chicken, hopefully I can tell him at Christmas. Everyone keeps asking what I am going to do with my degree, and honestly, I don't know what to tell them. I never had career aspirations, I just want to get coffee with people and dig into their lives... more on that later.

This quarter should be interesting, a large break in the middle, a trip to Boston for Boston Winter Conference, hopefully seeing Kelly while I'm there, and my classes should be pretty simple... 3 online and 1 in person. I should have a lot more free time this quarter. Time to meet people, catch up with old friends, work, SLEEP, and just enjoy life. Crusade should be fun, we are going to focus the quarter on really studying Jesus, starting with a 3 week series on Christmas. I'm definitely excited!

Now, what I said about digging into each others' lives, I hate that people are so secretive. We are afraid to be vulnerable, and it hurts us ultimately. We keep secrets inside because we're afraid of what people will think, what they'll say. I think if a lot of us were just honest with each other, we would see that none of us are perfect, not one of us is pure and untainted by the world, and we all need help and a savior. If we as Christians cannot be honest and admit our faults, then how can people trust us when we try to dig into their lives? How can we listen to people and their life stories, when they feel like we're judging them based on their deeds? If only they knew our struggles and our ongoing battles, would witnessing and discipling look different? Yes, we share some, but never all. We never bear our souls. We never talk about what we are dealing with at the moment, only what we seem to have under control. There are certain struggles that are ok to talk about, accepted as struggles that people deal with, but others are never touched upon. We are all so protective of our secrets, how different would it be if we really shared what we were struggling with? I say we because I do it too. There isn't a safe environment for people to really talk about real issues, what they desperately need help with or a friend to talk to about, because it is too scary. I have done things in life that I am not proud of, not by any means. It kills me to think that someone would judge me on it, that if asked I would have to be honest, and they might judge me based on my life. But honestly, in my opinion, sin is sin, God sees it all the same, if it is an inch off, it might as well be a mile. Who is man to judge what God has already forgotten.

I pray that we as a community and as the body of Christ would remember what Jesus did for us and count us all as sinners, all of us forgiven by God's grace, and all of us as works in progress. As long as we are trying to walk in God's will and follow His precepts, as long as we are trusting and obeying, that is what matters. It is a constant struggle against sin and the enemy's snares that we fight against, and as long as we are fighting, I say we're all even, no matter how long and how deep we've been in the battle, we're still fighting the same thing... my guy just might be bigger, or your guy has stronger weaponry. God is with us, working in us, pushing us, molding us into what He wants us to be. We aren't perfect, we all fail, no matter how saintly we claim to be. God doesn't call the equipped, he equips the called. Look at who He has used in the past; if we can't be open enough to accept everyone no matter their faults, as well as admit our own, are we really loving?

I realize this was long, I apologize. This was on my heart from a conversation earlier this evening and I thought I would mention it. I love you all, please continue to pray for me, and I will pray for you as well. As always, if you are reading, I'd love to hear from you if I haven't already. Comments are always welcome, emails, anything... I'm all yours. God bless.

Update

Nothing too big to mention, not much happening lately. I am going home next week, I'm in finals now, and could really use some prayer on both accounts. Finals are killing me, and I need to talk to my dad when I get home to explain the whole interning thing to him. Please pray for me.

Also, if you are reading this, please post a comment. I would love to know who is reading and keeping up with me. I love you all, don't be shy.

- Debbie